My Failed HB VBA3C **Cruz’s Birth Story

**Traumatic birth experience posted below.

It’s been 2.5 years since Cruz was born, so I am sure I will miss a ton of details! I have my update for my friends still on my phone so I copy pasted that below, but I never really wrote anything out about my home birth attempt for a VBA3C. So I will try.


Jan 16 the day before my due date I had my final OB appointment. Everything went fine and the OB asked me if I was ready to schedule my c-section. I said no that I was planning to drive down to Seattle to deliver (midwives are not technically allowed to attend home births for vbac in my state) since UW said they wouldn’t take me as a patient, but they wouldn’t turn me away in labor either. He then offered to strip my membranes, I accepted since I was measuring so large I was ready! That went fine and I headed home. I did my normal stuff, fed the kids dinner etc and I remember I was having contractions, but far apart. I didn’t know if I should call my midwife because I didn’t want to have her get ready if not the real thing. I believe it was around 6pm or so when I realized it was real! I called my midwife (We will call her M) and let her know it was probably time. I then called my sister-in-law and she came right over. By the time my SIL arrived I was using my birthing ball to lean over. My husband was wondering if he should start the pool in our large bathroom and I said I wasn’t sure. (I had NO IDEA how long that thing would take to fill up!)


I don’t remember how long until my midwife arrived, but by the time she came I was ready for some relief. Every contraction made my lower spine feel like it was in a vice grip and the only thing that helped was extremely hard counter pressure. Only my husband could push hard enough in the end! My husband started filling the pool after some trouble with the hose I bought he was using the shower head that extended and buckets with the heater we borrowed. Eventually we were boiling water on the stove as well. I was trying to walk around and use my ball but the pain in my back was so bad I had no idea how I was going to get through it! I don’t remember through the blur of it all when I was first checked but I remember I was quite upset to only be 3 centimeters or so with how bad my back was hurting.


When I finally got in the pool it helped between contractions, but I didn’t find comfort during! I still needed that counter pressure on my back and my husband was trying to run hot water from the stove and make it in time for my back. My first baby was an induction and the only thing I can compare my natural labor experience to was the feeling of being hooked up to a tuck load of pitosin! My back hurt really bad with her too and I only made it to 2cm before I was begging for an epi. (she was a c-section after 3 hours of pushing and getting literally no where)

I got out of the pool for a while and M’s assistant A did some sifting to get me to relax during contractions..I think it did help because I couldn’t resist it, but I will never do that again, it hurt a lot as well because of my back. I was checked again and I had only made a little progress but it was progress. I don’t remember how long but somewhere in the middle of the night I was randomly screaming in pain from my back and my lower stomach that I woke up the kids (they still talk about me yelling to get Cruz out of my belly) so we called my mom to come get them. She came and went into my room to see me and I had to try really hard to be quiet because I knew it would upset her. So I just told her to hurry and get the kids out of the house so I wouldn’t upset them.

I remember my water broke partially right after I had used the restroom and DH was helping me back to bed…he was doing the counter pressure on my back one step into my bedroom and I got blood on the carpet…immediately either M or A jumped up and grabbed peroxide and saved my rentals carpet haha. My sister in law started laying down chux pads and my bedroom soon looked like we had a new puppy who couldn’t hold it! At this point I was going between the bed and the pool, I was so upset the pool wasn’t this wonderful pain eliminating sorcery everyone seemed to think it was in birth stories online. I kept trying to relax in there but some floating blood kept freaking my husband out so I finally focused on getting that out between contractions.


M checked me and said I was an 8/9 and could start getting ready to push since it was stretchy. They set up and I worked through some really hard contractions and couldn’t stop screaming, I felt like my back and stomach were trying to separate from my body. I was later told that all of my babies have been sunny side up, and crooked and my back issues I’ve had since a child just didn’t mix.


I was checked again and was told I was a 9 but there was a lip, but I could start pushing. This is exactly what happened with my first and I just figured I would never get to an actual 10. I think I started pushing in the pool. I had my husband supporting me, but the water just did not help at all and I decided maybe a water birth is not for me after all and moved to the side of my bed at some point. The side of my bed felt the best with my husband sitting on the bed and holding me up. It was really hard on both of us but pushing really is the best part of all labor for me. I had the urges to push around 3-7cm and now I had no urge so that was really hard as well. At some point during pushing M said she could feel the babies head when I pushed so they got the rest of the stuff out. I remember thinking ‘OMG I’m really going to do this, just come out!’ I was getting way too tired so we moved on the bed and I leaned against my husband and we both fell asleep between contractions. By now I could feel that my lady bits were swollen from pushing so hard so I tried to visualize the baby moving down but I never felt his head fully engage. The pain in my stomach was getting unbearable between being so tired and my back feeling like it was about to break parallel with my c-section scar. At this point I’m guessing I had pushed for at least 3 hours, probably more I never did find out. My SIL said it was a really long time lol. M checked me and nothing had changed, I never got to 10, and the pain I was in just didn’t feel like it could be normal. I had my sister in law call 911 for an ambulance because I wanted an epidural at the very least at this point, and there was no way I was going to let my husband drive me to the hospital in his lowered car. (Plus there was no way I could sit in a seat belt anyway).


M was telling me to ride it out and just stay home because I was so close. I was emotionally and physically done, it was already late morning and it was officially my due date. I got dressed grabbed my blanket and handed DH my emergency hospital bag, and sent me SIL to grab my cell phone. I met the ambulance lady at the door with an ice pack in my pants for my poor lady bits, and said lets go! I’m between contractions. M & A stayed in my bedroom until I was gone because technically they were never there (that’s why initials have been changed and no I wont tell you lol).

The ambulance ride was awful (I’m 45min from the hospital), not only was the person who picked my up my husbands former boss and a good family friend, he had to remove my pants and check to make sure no baby was coming out..I was mortified. They took my ice pack :/. Unfortunately because I was not dying they had to meet another ambulance 10 minutes away to transfer me so they could keep their bus in the district. Well the two ambulances met in a parking lot and something happened to wear my ambulance had to slam the breaks from something the other one did..and the guy sitting next to me sailed OVER MY HEAD an landed behind me. It was scary! They moved me to the other ambulance, and we were on our way. The ride is bumpy, the bed I had to be strapped to was awful to be on to get through the contractions. They were 2min apart and my husband couldn’t do counter pressure. I was upset they couldn’t give me drugs. Once we got to the hospital they wheeled me in to the child birth center right through the main doors. I was mid contraction and almost crying trying to hold my breath because I didn’t want the poor families in the waiting room to see me like that! Thank goodness they had the room and nurses waiting for me in a room! They could see baby was positioned wrong so I had to go on my hands and knees for 4 contractions. I was asking them to hurry and get me the epidural. I told the hospital I had only been in labor for a couple hours. Once I finally got the epidural I called my mom and took a nap.


**Original update I wrote for my due date group**


My bladder got so full during the ambulance ride it pushed baby out of the birth canal (looking back I don’t think he was ever engaged, his head was perfectly round unlike my first child who had a cone head with obvious dent in her forehead where she was stuck from being sunny side up), when I got to hospital he was -1/0 station, I was down to an 8 during contraction with a fore bag of bulging water, with out a contraction nurse thought I was a 6, Dr said no I was an 8 with swelling. He broke what was left of my water, he came in at 5:30pm (hours later) and I was still an 8, baby was completely sunny side up they could see his knees sticking out during contractions.. I begged and cried for one more hour.. He agreed to 30min, I squatted, I did tiny pushed trying to descend him, I just ended up swelling more. He ended up giving me 45min.. No change.



I signed the form, they took me back, as soon as I got on the table I cried like a baby I was so scared, I had been in labor for over 24 hours, the hospital thought it was only 12. Actual surgery went well I had a numb right arm and double vision so I decided I couldn’t handle the immediate skin to skin I wanted. We got to see the sex of the baby together! A boy! Dh knew it ๐Ÿ˜‰ turns out he was really stuck just like my reason for my 1st c-section.. His head was not molded AT ALL..,I got really dizzy so they held him by my head for a second. Dh got to follow him to be weighed and all that. 8lbs 10oz, big baby for me on his due date!! 21″ long.


I was shaking so bad and had air bubbles in my shoulder so they gave me more meds while getting seen up. Met dh with baby in recovery. I tried to hold baby but the double vision and shaking made me not able. I was starting to get major pain on my right side. Dh has just stepped outside to spread the good news of a healthy son, when they checked my tummy and pushed I expelled huge clots that they were literally digging out from under me, I could feel the blood gushing to my ankles. This went on for a good 15min, they were getting the OR ready for me again, dh walked back in to see them prepping me and weighing my blood. DH was so scared because they said it was life threatening. He just sat there with the baby trying to look brave. I ended up loosing ALL of my blood supply, I have now had three transfusions. I woke up in recovery to them saying I was in critical condition and going to the ICU.. I started freaking out about not being allowed to be with my baby. I already felt like a failure not pushing him out. But they said I could have died during pushing from how bad my uterus was. ( my last surgery my uterus looked like I have never has a c-section so I had no idea how it could change in one pregnancy.. I had a huge window with tear).

My few seconds before I hemorrhaged.
My few seconds before I hemorrhaged.

Got to icu, I had some sort of balloon uterus catheter put in after my d&c and they had me on pitosin all night so I made DH leave baby in the nursery because it was excruciating and I was screaming and crying and I would pass out only to wake up and start over ๐Ÿ™ my poor hubby!! He would go check on baby and come back for me. I lost more blood so they knocked me out for another surgery where they did a “coiling” in my uterus basically injected some contrast die to find my artery and blocked it. It worked! I did need more blood after because my platelet count was dropping ๐Ÿ™ but last night I got to leave Icu and be with my baby!!! I wasn’t allowed to breast feed until a few hours ago but he’s doing it like a champ!!

How he came to visit me in ICU
I was swollen to twice my size in the ICU. It was scary.
I was swollen to twice my size in the ICU. It was scary. They almost cut my ring off!

I was asked if I regret trying to VBAC, no I don’t regret it! I felt the need to transfer and so glad I did call that ambulance. Go with your gut ladies!!!! They originally told me another pregnancy would kill me, but later I talked to a Dr. and he said it was up to me if I wanted to risk it but they would have me as a high risk patient. I wish I could have been honest with them last time about how long I was in labor, but I didn’t want to get in trouble for trying to VBAC.



**Throw Back Thursday: Nayeli’s Birth Story (12/2010)

I thought I would share some of my birth stories! Now these are just how I wrote them out after the birth, I have not fully edited them for grammar or punctuation. Don’t judge me! haha

***Photos of a fresh baby below

The Monday before Christmas I was out to dinner w/my parents and brother while DH stayed home w/the other 3 kids. I started having strong contractions that were 3min apart so after dinner i had my mom bring me in..well yet again they said according to my contractions I’m in labor..but my cervix wasn’t doing ANYTHING, and I wasn’t effaced at all so I was sent home again, my contractions spaced out to 10min apart thankfully!
Christmas Eve we went to our annual party at his Uncles house and hung out there from 7-9ish, for some reason I didn’t feel like eating but was really thirsty. I made myself eat a little bit but around 8 I felt like I had to lay down. My contractions started up again and I started feeling like I was getting the flu because my whole body was sore. We then left and went over to my MILs house for the second half of the stuff we do every year and I was feeling so sore I had to lay on the couch and watch everyone open presents and everyone was asking if i needed a ride to the hospital because I looked terrible well we ended up doing presents from 11pm-2 or 2:30am. (yes that’s how big DHs immediate family is his 2 parents, his 3 siblings + two of their SO’s, one of their BFFs who is like family, then our family of 5!)


I finally fell asleep soon after 3am while DH put away the stuff the kids got and he went to bed around 3:30. We woke up at 8:30 because DH had to go to work and the kids still had to open their gifts from us. I tried to take a nap at my moms while she watched the kids that afternoon because I wasn’t feeling good still but the kids were too loud so i got up. We had Christmas dinner at MIL’s that night and then DH had friends/family over in the garage while I tried to go to bed..I felt funny so I got up and took a shower w/DS because he was up still and I called DH on the phone to come in when I got out and asked him not to drink any more because I was having contractions 3min apart but they were not hurting yet. So he went back outside to the get-together he was having and I continued to time my contractions, DS fell asleep finally on my bed next to me. I felt like I had to pee so I started to get out of bed and i had a sharp stabbing pain behind my c-section scar that went all the way to the top of my belly and I couldn’t get up, so I called DH on the phone again (its now 3am) and told him to come in. His friend came in behind him because he thought it was his baby (that I was watching while he slept in my room) and I think I kinda freaked him out a bit the way I was laying on the bed in pain. I told DH that he had to take me in and I was calling my mom to come watch the kids. It took DH 30min to get all the people out of our garage, and my mom had to get dressed (she lives next door) we got to the hospital right around 4:14 and I was in the triage room for 20min so they could monitor my contractions. DH slept while I was being monitored


A nurse came in to check me and i was 1cm dilated, baby’s head was high, but the baby’s heart rate was dropping w/every contraction. They had me change positions and then they checked me again around 6am and I was 1.5 cm and they could feel the babies head this time and I was 75% effaced. The Dr on call was on the way to come talk to me about my VBA2C and my options so I asked if I could walk the halls until she got there. She arrived at 7:30ish and had to see some other patients so DH and I sat on the bed (that was now fixed before the leg part would collapse every time I was really funny) I then asked for a birthing ball to sit on to help baby get where she needed to be. The Dr came in and I told her my past reasons for having c-sections and she told me I could labor for a few more hours to see if I dilated more but there were no rooms so I would have to stay in triage, or I could have a c-section that day. She went over the risks of the c-section vs having a trial of labor and based on my history of c-sections she said that I could try for the vbac but she was worried about me needing a section again at the last minute and getting infected again like I did w/my 1st after pushing for 3 hours and her heart de-cels. DH wanted me to just have the c-section the whole time and I was worried sick about the baby being in distress when I was only 1cm so we went w/the c-section even though I really wanted a vbac. I felt like I had to put my babes needs before my own at this point and just wanted her out safe and sound. So they bumped the 9am c-section since I was in labor and she checked me and I was 2cm by then so that made me happy because I have never dilated on my own.

They prepped me for surgery and took me into the operating room. The spinal was the worst part of everything but it wasn’t as bad as the one I got w/DS before, so that’s good. I hate the feeling of being numb and I was having trouble not freaking out and having a panic attack, they offered me some drugs to calm me down, but I said no because I didn’t want to drug the baby any more than the spinal might already do. They started my c-section and then DH came in and told me he had looked thru the camera too long while he was waiting and the batteries had died in the camera …they baby was almost out so the Dr. went REALLY slow as some nurses scrambled to find me batteries, well they found some JUST IN TIME and a nurse got the camera going just as the baby was about to come out! The DR said she as glad I went with the c-section because she felt like a big baby w/a big round head while they were checking out baby and finishing up with me I started having severe back pain so I needed 2 doses of narcotics..that wasn’t fun!! Well baby was 18″ of chubby! and 7lbs 6oz and i was only 36-37 weeks! I think her head was 35cm so not HUGE but bigger than some full term babies lol. We both had trouble keeping our temps up but they never took her from me we did a lot of skin to skin/her in my gown for the 1st 24 hours. Also while in recovery my pain meds stopped that sucked as well, but I had a baby to hold so it was worth it!!

I didn’t have my birth plan along because I wasn’t done w/it but they respected all my wishes for bath, no vit k injection (oral only!), they did the eye drops i think but that I didn’t care about as much, and no hep B injection

Holy Cow! 2 Year Old’s Are HARD Work!

Cruz is 2.5 now and rampaging my house!! He can open child locks with one hand, and he can pull my pantry door hard enough the child lock he cant reach pops open! The only thing that can keep him contained for a few minutes are the two metal baby gates that separate the living room. The only problem with that scenario is that he can do a lot of damage in there too!


He is so sweet and cuddly, but so naughty all in one package!! I’m trying my hardest to see it as he is exploring his world, and checking boundaries..but seriously I need a nap…and a glass of wine..but being pregnant I CANT DRINK! haha I love him so much but I’m starting to freak out about having two boys home with me all the time when the baby comes, we already decided we are not doing hopefully I don’t regret that!


Here is his most current mess. Apparently while I had to go outside to get sister off the bus, he was starving and helped himself to a thing of coffee creamer, a pound of string cheese (not shown, but he chewed them through the wrappers) and a package of thankfully sealed turkey breast! All this on my freshly mopped floor haha. He has been really into drinking salad dressing…he thinks it’s juice! I guess I should let him have more real juice..but it’s bad for your teeth so I limit it.


At the end of the day I know I am ridiculously blessed with these 5 going on 6 kids…but the real problem is: no more wine until November ๐Ÿ˜‰



Dazone Diaper Bag – Review

Dazoneยฎ Baby Diaper Nappy Bag Tote Mummy Diapers Backpack Changing Bag Mummy Tote Waterproof Handbag Shoulder bags small Dots (Coffee)


This post is not sponsored, but does contain affiliate links, affiliate links do not cost extra for you, but any purchase will help this blog grow!

I did my main review as a video! I forgot to touch on my only real complaint about the bag, is the changing pad doesn’t fit seamlessly into the front pocket, you need to really stuff it in there if you want it in there with the hook and loop. Other than that the bag is great and feels durable! I’m 17.5 weeks pregnant with another boy (my 6th child) and I’m confident this bag will work for both my boys! I received this bag free in exchange for my honest and unbiased review, all thoughts are my own and were not compensated in any way! 4.5 stars out of 5!

  • Size of diaper bag: 16 x 14 x 7.8 In.
  • Options to wear: Carry handle can fit anywhere on arm, cross body/shoulder strap(removable), back pack straps (stow-able).
  • Color options: Black or Coffee.